i am who i am

yess.. i am who i am. i wont easily change for sumthing yg tak masuk akal. or maybe it does make sense for some people, but maybe it is just not for me.

i know myself, & yes.. i know myself better than others. maybe there is a saying like "people who sees you daily, knows the best about you". as for me, no it isn't. & y not,...? because, they only see the outside of me, they do not know the inside me, my heart, my feelings, my real attitude. no, they don't know me like i do. ok..?

why i have to change..? do i have to change to make people happy? & how's mine...? do i have to fight, to have conflict with my OWN self..? do i..? nayyy..! i know who i am. i know what to do. i know how to take care of myself. though sometimes my decision is not sumthing yang BIJAK, but let me face the risk. so that i will know how it feels by my own. let i face it, let me have the experience. & hey, we do learn from experience kan..?

ntah la. sometimes, it puts me in a guilt situation actually. where i have to make a choice between my own decision & people decision. so, i have conflict with my own self there. *when u have conflict dgn diri sendri, that's the time where u have to meet the counselor* ..

hurmmm.. but then, i have to mind myself. i am who i am. if sumthing happens, & u need to do sumthing bout it, & u know that u are the kind of the person that will do anything, & U KNOW WHO YOU ARE. then just do. why bothering urself with people's thinking. as long as i know what im doing is not giving me any harm secara lahiriah or insaniah, then just do. Allah knows ur intention well than people do. so, biar Allah yang mengadilinya.

no, do not stop me from doing sumthing yang da mmg diri saya. yg secara lahiriah dan insaniah nye, itulah saya. no, jgn lah buat saya berhenti. even now, i am doing my best to be a better Muslim. i am trying the best of me  even sumtimes there are few mistakes here & there either its intentionally or unintentionally. but i am trying. maybe the things that people are trying to stop me to do are sumthing good that are naturally come from me. & maybe that are the only good thing yang saya mampu buat sebagai seorang insan kat muka bumi ni wallahualam.

p/s : moga petunjuk Allah sentiasa ada untuk saya. insyaAllah.