28 October 2011

sebenarnya, 28 October 2011 genap 2 tahun kenal dier. i mean, yg 1st met kat KEMPORI uh. so, tarikh ni. tarikh kitorg jumpa, tgk muka, pandang pandang, jeling jeling for the very 1st time. makna nye, semalam.. genap 2 tahun kitorang kenal. dan hari ni, 2 tahun 1 hari.

still, ingt lagi that day. tgh jaga registration counter dengan Haniz a.K.a along.. tengah2 dok borak2, gelak2. then datang 3 orang budak lelaki dari MMU Melaka. & then, borak2 sikit ngan dorang ni. yerla kann.. eqa kan org Melaka. MMU tuh plak dekat bebenor ngan umah eqa. tu yg borak2 sikit. few minutes later, datang sorang budak laki lagi. rambut panjang. muka kerek. & terus berjabat tangan ngan abg. Adli. perhati je dier. ntah. tataw knpe bler dgn dier, mulut terus terkatup rapat. terus terbisu. huu~ dier nak isi borang, dier mintak pen. Haniz yg bagi kat dier. masa tu, nak pandang muka dier pon cam, "err, malunyer". hahaha.. giler kannn..? 

so, itu detik2 awal pertemuan kami. yg pada mulanye, terasa asing sekali. tapi ade satu getar, ade satu rasa di lubuk hati. tataw kenapa.. tapi rasa itu yang hadir. yang pada mulanya, tak terlintas langsung akan satu perhubungan yang lebih serius. dan beginilah kami akhirnya.

nak masukkan gmbar awal2 perkenalan kami.. & gmbar pada 28 October 2011. :)

i'm HOME...!!

yeayyy..! home at last. & will be at home for a week. ^__^

but err. err.. its not like the usual holiday actually. i have to help my parents to pack up stuffs & start moving out. & i also have to do my assignments. :)

so, happy holiday everybody...!!

kawan kawan. jom beli tudung

hello kekawannn..
jom tengok tudung kat page eqa & kakak.
ni.. page ni ZAMRO's Hijab.. datang la tgk. mane taw ade yg berkenan kan...?
ade jenis2 tudung yg menjadi idaman kalbu remaja sekarang. hee~
datang tengok taw... ^__^

mid-semester holiday

yeayyy..! next week is our mid-sem holiday. & yeayyy again. i'll be home for a week..!

so, last week on thursday & friday, i had my very first tests in UPM. so far both test were OK. i mean, alhamdulillah i can do it even-though i was not really study for both subjects. & last Monday, i had my Bahasa Melayu Tinggi test. yaaa. im a Malay. for sure i can do it well kannn..? but nay... i was not doing well. & why? because early topics were not about the grammar & so on. it's about theory and history. & my brain, they cannot do well in remembering things. but they can do very very well in calculations. how on earth are you going to remember so many facts in a time? & all the theories & facts are slightly the same...??? arghhh.. its just not suit for me. no at all. we had our discussion yesterday about the test in class. but i was not really remeber what were my answers for those questions. but. hurmm.. its ok. it just a test. & there are lots more things that be done to increase the marks. kannn..?

so, this holiday, its not really a holiday actually. 'coz i have tons of assignment to be done by the end of this holiday. err err.. xpe, to achieve ur ambitions, sacrifice is needed. yeahhh. ;)

tomorrow, i am going to skip one class. because my mom asked to. hehehe.. my mom & dad will be going to kL b'coz my mom have to attend a course. so, there is nobody in Melaka. & my parents ask me to go to kL with them. & so, i have to skip one class la. huu~ my very first 'PONTENG' class for this semester.

& ok. that is all from me. so.. till then. bubye everybody. & last but not least.. HAPPY HOLIDAY DEAR FRIENDS..!!! ^__^

saat ini

saat ni, rasa nak pegi kat tepi pantai yang tade orang atau tepi tasik yang tade orang atau atas bukit atau atas gunung. sebab nak menjerit sekuat hati. nak menangis sepuas-puasnya. dengan harapan semua yang membelenggu diri keluar dari badan melalui jeritan & tangisan yang sehabis boleh tu.

sebab sekarang ni, semua tengah berbuku dalam diri. tak boleh nak keluarkan. so, nak pegi tempat2 yang sedemikian. i need it. badly.

suffocating

ya Allah. terasa diri sangat la dalam keadaan yang suffocate giler. ade benda yang berbuku dalam hati. ade benda yang tak mampu diluahkan. tersangat suffocating sekarang ni.

ade je benda yang tak kena. bler nak buat sumthing, laen yang jadi. mmg tak boleh nak focus lgsg.

dada terasa sakit. sebu. tak mampu nak meluahkan. sbb masih ade hati yang perlu dijaga.






ya Allah, tiada lain yang ku pinta dari-Mu, cuma berikanlah ketabahan dan ketenangan hati. aku pohon pada-Mu. kuatkanlah aku dalam menempuhi segalanya. bantulah aku ya Allah.

senyumku

*yokk.. berpuitis sebentar. mentang2 amek subjek Penglahiran Bakat Kreatif kannnnnnnnnnn.. huhu

senyumku
ada yang plastik
ada yang original
ada yang masam
ada yang manis

senyumku
aku ukirkan jua di bibirku
walau hati terasa walang
aku calitkan jua di wajahku
walau hati penuh calar
ada rasa membelenggu jiwa
tapi ku kuatkan jua diri
demi secebis senyuman
suka walau duka
manis walau pahit

senyum itu sedekah
kata-kata itu
aku pegang
biar pahit bagai hempedu
aku tetap akan mengukir senyum
senyum itu
aku tahu
mampu melenyap duka lara.

kenapa?

hari ini hari AHAD

AHAD adalah satu-satunye hari untuk eqa bangun lambat sepanjang kat UPM. hehehe.. sbb isnin sampai sabtu. semua nye ade kelas. so, AHAD the one & the only day yang eqa boleh berbuat sedemikian. hehe

hari ini hari AHAD. tade aktiviti pon. tapi jap lagi nak study. esok ade test. nak turun makan pon rasa malas je akibat daripada kedudukan bilik yang tggi, berbukit-bukau dan seumpamanya. hehehe.. jap2 lagi je la turun kann..

tapi kan. seriously, tade mood nak study. tataw knpe. maybe since last nite pon da mmg tade mood, then terbawa2 sampai skarang. haihhh.. mood. datang la berlumba2 kpda saya. sbb ssaya perlukan awak. cepat lah ye datang berlumba2. :)

yeayyy.. 6 hari lagi nak mula cuti mid-sem..! seminggu tuuuu. then masuk balik campus. pastu balik lagi sbb raya haji. knpe la dorang tak sambung je cuti tu. kan berlipat ganda best nye. huhu.

& saya merindui seseorang. smalam tgk movie, ade plak actor yang ade iras ngan dier. then buat saya makin rindu. hurmmm.. takpe lah. nanti2 boleh jumpa. kannn..?

so, ini aje cerita untuk ari AHAD ini. sekian. wassalam...

malam ini

malam ini
duduk ku sendiri
memecah sunyi malam
memujuk diri, memujuk hati
dan kini
sendiri lagi melayan hati
sendiri lagi termangu sepi
sendiri lagi berlagu pilu
tanpa ada rasa jemu
rasa itu sering hadir
menemani diri.

seringku pujuk hati,
janganlah kau bersedih
seringku pujuk diri,
janganlah kau menangis
tapi, sering aku memujuk..
makin ia merobek, menikam kalbu
menusuk ke dalam
jauh ke dalam

telah puas ku pujuk
tidak ia beransur reda
terasa sakit
sakit yang berulang kali ku rasakan
sakit yang tak pernah hilang
sakit yang hadir tanpa ada rasa jemu

biarlah
aku yang rasa
sakit pahit getir jiwa itu
kerna ku tahu
ada pelangi selepas hujan.

homesick

i dun care what people wanna say. yes. i am 22 y/o. yes, i've been staying away from my family since my secondary school. then my diploma. & now my degree. yes, i've been staying far far away from them before this. & yes.. i still feel the homesick-fever. & seriously, i dun care what people wanna say about me.

im not a spoiled children. nayyy.. im not. tapi ntah. masih ade rasa rindu, homesick bagai. i just wanna be near with my family. looking at them everyday. hurmmm..

but... nak berjaya, kne lah hadap benda2 macam ni. kannn..? so.. marilah berusaha.

a day out with a friend

last Thursday, i went out with my talkative friend :). let me introduce her to you. her name is Tuan Nor Azani bt Sy Mustafa. i've known her since my Diploma. we were graduated from the same uni & the same course. so, here we meet again. & befriend again. she comes from Terengganu.

ok ok. last Thursday we went out. we went to The Mines. yang banyak bershopping nye si Zani la. huu~ & ktorang g la jugak maen bowling & karoke. zani ni plak, mmg tak la kan nak berkaroke. tapi i forced her to do so. haha.. melayan jugakkk dier tuh. kan zani kann..? & she rarely plays bowling tapi ntah macam mane boleh strike la plak kan. siap ade spare lagi. huhu~ congratz zani. muahahaha

err.. eqa tawu zani ni mmg tak bukak pon blog eqa ni. tapi takpe la. nak cerita jugakkk.. ^_^..

ni ade sikit gambo. tak bnyk pon. because zani was busy bershopping. huhu...

ni lah zani.. ^_^

duit

duit. hidup mmg tapenah lepas dgn masalah duit. yang orang2 dari keluarga berada uh, mmg tade penat kpla nak pk pasal duit nih. sbb dorang sentiasa berduit. & hurmm..

mmg la duit tu tak mampu beli kebahagiaan. tp duit tu.. sgt diperlukan untuk hidup kat zaman sekarang ni. nak makan, nak minum, nak mandi, nak ade elektrik, nak ade segulung ijazah, nak spm. & ape ape lagi la. smua nak kne duit. haihh..

skarang ni plak. rasa macam down. sbb ptptn dapat sikit je. tak dapat full. half pon tak dapat. hurmm. bukan lah ape. tp tanak nyusahkan mak ayah sbenarnya. mak ayah pon nak gna duit untuk benda2 lain. mmg la mak ayah cakap takpe, dorang boleh bayar yuran wutsoever. tapiii. hurmmm. tanak bebankan dorang da. hurmmm.. rasa macam nak stop blaja.

maybe skarang mmg perlu berjimat drpd segala bnda pon. kos sara hidup skarang pon da tggi. hurmm.. takpe la. insyaAllah, eqa buat yang terbaik. untuk semua pengorbanan mak ayah. insyaAllah akan buat yang terbaik untuk dorang. this is the least yg eqa boleh buat skarang. insyaAllah. doakan lah eqa.

the immature creature.. perhapsssss

:) 
& the award goes to....... ME.. huhu..
eh.. mane ade la. i am matured ok, mentally & physically.
just terlebih manja. ngade ngade yg amat. dan sgt meluatkannn..
huu.. kannnn..?
whoever knows me, the close one i mean. they know how annoying i can be.

gambar saje saje.

shutting down.
deactivating.
deleting.
& everything.

a post to myself

i am already in a miserable situation. where .. yaaa. i have to face it all. by my own self. coz no one could help. & yess. it is my problems. so, need to face it alone.

hurmm.. as we know, life will never stay at the same level. kannn..? so, here i am facing up my DUKA PAHIT SUSAH PAYAH moments. so, my wheels went down.

eqa. ingt.. yg pertama skali, gembirakan mak ayah dlu. study rajin2, tolak semua masalah ke tepi. dapatkan pointer yg baik. jadi org yg berjaya. balas balik jasa mak ayah. itu bnda pertama. yang lain2.. biar Allah aturkan. though u have ur own plan. sentiasa beringt.. awak hnya merancang. tp Allah jua yg menentukan. ingt.. awak kne focus kat tempat blaja awak. ingt tu selalu. keluarga kne diutamakan. susah senang awak, keluarga jugak yg support awak.

hurmm.. mak ayah, doakan yg terbaik untuk orang. kakak, hurmm.. if u read this. tlg doakan yg terbaik utk ak. k..?







p/s : tolonglah jgn macam ni lagi.

i am who i am

yess.. i am who i am. i wont easily change for sumthing yg tak masuk akal. or maybe it does make sense for some people, but maybe it is just not for me.

i know myself, & yes.. i know myself better than others. maybe there is a saying like "people who sees you daily, knows the best about you". as for me, no it isn't. & y not,...? because, they only see the outside of me, they do not know the inside me, my heart, my feelings, my real attitude. no, they don't know me like i do. ok..?

why i have to change..? do i have to change to make people happy? & how's mine...? do i have to fight, to have conflict with my OWN self..? do i..? nayyy..! i know who i am. i know what to do. i know how to take care of myself. though sometimes my decision is not sumthing yang BIJAK, but let me face the risk. so that i will know how it feels by my own. let i face it, let me have the experience. & hey, we do learn from experience kan..?

ntah la. sometimes, it puts me in a guilt situation actually. where i have to make a choice between my own decision & people decision. so, i have conflict with my own self there. *when u have conflict dgn diri sendri, that's the time where u have to meet the counselor* ..

hurmmm.. but then, i have to mind myself. i am who i am. if sumthing happens, & u need to do sumthing bout it, & u know that u are the kind of the person that will do anything, & U KNOW WHO YOU ARE. then just do. why bothering urself with people's thinking. as long as i know what im doing is not giving me any harm secara lahiriah or insaniah, then just do. Allah knows ur intention well than people do. so, biar Allah yang mengadilinya.

no, do not stop me from doing sumthing yang da mmg diri saya. yg secara lahiriah dan insaniah nye, itulah saya. no, jgn lah buat saya berhenti. even now, i am doing my best to be a better Muslim. i am trying the best of me  even sumtimes there are few mistakes here & there either its intentionally or unintentionally. but i am trying. maybe the things that people are trying to stop me to do are sumthing good that are naturally come from me. & maybe that are the only good thing yang saya mampu buat sebagai seorang insan kat muka bumi ni wallahualam.

p/s : moga petunjuk Allah sentiasa ada untuk saya. insyaAllah.

mi familia

they are my Jantung Hati.
without them. i am nothing.
without them. i am dead.

love them with all of my heart.

p/s : ya Allah, protect them from any harm, from any diseases. make them happy & give them a good health. aminnn